I fucking hate double standards... If a girl sleeps with a load of different men, she's a slut. But when a guy does it he's a homosexual?
MmmmMmmm....yummy, Christmas leftovers...... Beer!
I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity.
I think my wife is practicing to become a Impressionist. One day I came home and I could hear her in our room doing an impression of our neighbor. Not sure why she chose the phrase "Where should I hide?", but it was good none the less.
On Jan 1st I'll be opening a place called Resolutions. For the first 2 weeks it will be a gym and for the other 50 it will be a bar.
Twisted Monday Thought
Doesn't Oscar from Sesame Street look like a talking bud of weed?
Due to the declining economy and the flooded seashell market, Sally now sells sodomy on a side street in Savannah.
My girlfriend said "let's just do some spooning tonight". Although it sounded kinda' weird to me, I didn't want to disappoint her so I brought a ice cream scooper into bed.....I'll let you know how this played out.
This New Year's Eve, I'm going to frantically masturbate at 11.55pm, and then when I cum at 12 I can pretend that all the cheering and fireworks are for me.
My probation officer just called to see if I wanted to go party with her on New Years Eve.......I smell a trap