- The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
- I am buying my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
- Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
- Dear Santa, I was framed.
- Would you like some Christmas spirit? Now where did I put that vodka…
- can’t wait to watch her favourite Christmas movie, “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t Due To Santa’s Urinary Tract Infection”
- Where is that fat bastard?
EASTER
- So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right?
- Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs
- Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
- I watch so much of the Investigation Discovery channel, I can kill you and make it look like the Easter Bunny did it.
- thinks the only reason the Easter bunny hides his eggs is cause he doesn't want anyone to know he screwed a chicken.
- If you happen to see a bunny laying brown eggs, do not eat them. ITS NOT CHOCOLATE!!!! HAPPY EASTER!!!!
- Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween, stood next to the Easter Bunny, and handed out eggs......
