Status Updates 6/8/11

• Has anyone come across any data that determines whether or not adopted highways have any abandonment issues later on in life?
• You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one damn night!"
• I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’. You probably saw our posters.
• says i'm gonna yank it like a monkey in a Mango tree.
• is Damit.... I woke up with a pulse. I supose this means I should get dressed now....
• says have you seen the new Hippie doll? wind it up and it doesn't work.
• Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
• is On-Star has made it so much more difficult for me to take my time when I'm robbing accident victims.
• feel like standing across the street facing a nursing home in a grim reaper costume and waving at all the old people I see...
• is I wasn't masturbating, I was cleaning it and it just went off!
• when everything seems overwhelming, I just reassure myself that I will die someday....
• is kind of surprised I'm not an action figure by now.
• i got sacked from the salvation army soup kitchen today,ungratful bastards.All i said was hurry up 4fucks sake!!some of us have homes 2 go 2.
• I don't drink water.....FISH have sex in it!!