Status Updates 6/6/11

• is Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things. Sincerely, 7.
• If I had a nickel for every time someone said I'm bad at math, I'd have 47 cents.
• I'm not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you're thinking.
• My mom says you are what you eat. That's funny, because I haven't eaten any sexy beasts recently.
• I'm so hungry I could eat the A$$ end out of a rag doll.
• "Rape" is such an ugly term ... I prefer to call it Struggle Snuggles.
• Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I'm facing sexual harassment charges.
• i am in no shape to exercise
• is Jesus is just a guy who mows my lawn
• says 1 in 3 americans suffer from constapation. Do not be ashamed. Chances are you or someone you love is constapated. Stand proud and join the fight against constapation. You are not alone ..
• Next time you sit at a McDonald's playland and a parent asks you, "Which one is yours?" Say, "I haven’t picked one out yet!"
• It takes a big man to cry, it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
• Keith Stone may be smooth, but we're all in consensus that he's a pedophile, right?
• This is going to sound like a generalization, but all people who drive white pickup trucks are rapists.
• Thinking of stalking my stalker just to shake things up a bit.
• "My Life is based on a True Story."
• "I'm confused...wait...maybe I'm not."