Status Updates 6/4/11

• I had a pigeon on steroids poop on me today. Good times.
• Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...
• we all know unicorns exist because google doesn't lie
• thinks its OK to beat up an old lady, if its at Costco, or if she really had it coming
• Sarah from Land Before Time is obviously a lesbian.
• I would seriously knife fight my own mother to go to Hogwarts.....
• has super aids and is gonna die sometime soon
• PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy & paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will repost this
• FACT: A cat will blink when struck in the head with a hammer
• You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
• Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late.