- is getting a grip on life… and choking it to death
- I told my girl friend i wish i had magical powers because i think it would impress her.
- Airports are my favorite place to have a fistfight with an old woman.
- says Chuck Norris once flushed a condom.. later the ninja turtles were born.
- is I don't confront people. I was raised right. I talk stuff behind their backs. It's called manners.
- likes girls for their hearts. Their big, bouncy, jiggly hearts.
- is what happens in vegas,stays in vegas..except for herpes
- I'm going to be the first person to walk on the sun... I know what ur thinking an I've got it all figured out... I'm going at night.
- In the eyes of most women, every man is born a Defendant.
- It's 2011, microwaves should have one button that says Cook Sh!t.
- Vegetarians and vegans spend entirely too much time trying to make vegetables taste like meat. You made your choice, now live with it hippie!
- If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy
- is If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!!!
- has met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
- used to have super powers but the psychiatrist took them all away.
- says Never Ever Ever Play leap Frog with A Unicorn
- wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Posted by Nathan Scott Phillip at 9:39 AM