Monday, May 9, 2011

Status Updates 5/9/11

  • said...Be Positive! It's infectious, I caught it a few months ago and it won't go away so be careful.
  • Oh hello! I see that the assassins have failed.
  • At the airport customs, if you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" never reply, "Why? What do you need?"
  • If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie
  • demands to ban I Want a New Drug. We all know the current ones are fine.
  • X is pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
  • I haven't seen a spider in the house in days.WHAT THE F*CK ARE THEY PLANNING?
  • The question asked "have you ever been convicted of a crime" followed by "explain why"... so I put "no" and "good lawyer."
  • According to ABC news the mission to assassinate Osama Bin Laden was carried out by a unit so secret their existence cannot be verified....THE A-TEAM IS BACK!
  • worried that my drinking might be affecting my memory. I'm also worried it might be affecting my memory.
  • Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
  • is cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass...
  • Doing my weekly Anti-virus scan, my laptop is a slut.


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