Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Status Updates 5/11/11

  • is normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
  • This vodka diet is freaking awesome, I've already lost 3 days.
  • Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here's the story. I'm in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
  • “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
  • When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
  • I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  • says I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out
  • Because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord.
  • Just found out that being a "person of interest" is not as cool as it sounds.
  • says I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
  • I’m not only a workaholic, I drink at home too
  • Beer – the reason I wake up every afternoon.
  • My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • I like failure because it’s so easy to achieve!


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