Sunday, May 8, 2011

Status Updates 5/08/2011

  • decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
  • When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
  • X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
  • X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
  • slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
  • ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
  • I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
  • My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
  • ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
  • if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
  • Cut here —————–✄———————-
  • Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
  • Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
  • Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
  • I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
  • Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
  • X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
  • never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about

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