Status Updates 5/08/2011

• decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
• My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
• X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about